Relay for Life

This morning I get to walk in the Fullerton Relay for Life. It’s an event sponsored by the American Cancer Society. I get to walk as a survivor.

My one year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis is coming up on the 18^th of this month and I still have a hard time getting my head around the idea that I had cancer let alone that I am now considered a cancer survivor. 

We all face moments in our lives, events that are life-changing.  I guess this was one of those events for me. 

As I look back, I wonder just how I have changed and how this event has changed me. This is not an easy thing for me to see. I am a positive person and have always enjoyed and appreciated a sunrise and a sunset. I didn’t suddenly have an epiphany and swing my life around to become super volunteer. For me this was another stepping stone, another door to go through in living out God’s will for my life.

I will say that I have become less tolerant of complaining and I realize a little more clearly now that life is finite and I shouldn’t waste a minute on worry. Unlike the feelings of immortality you feel when you are young, this event and the year since has brought into clear focus that God only gives us so much time and reminds me that ‘I have become painfully aware that there are fewer days ahead than there are behind’ to quote a favorite line from one of my favorite movies.

So, all-in-all, today I will walk in the Relay for Life with my son Matt and it will remind me to enjoy the moment and appreciate what I have now and remind me that I don’t have time to waste.

More on $2 Tomato's

I'm finding that I really like this blogging stuff. Because of a busy schedule, I don't get to sit down and write as much as I would like, but I get to it when I can. So, apologies to those who have asked questions about my previous blog. I'm just now (6:30am on a Saturday morning) getting to respond.

So, here are some answers to questions;

a) do you have any "farming' experience at all? If not, did you just talk to the guy at Lowe's (or Home Depot) to get basic info or did you research a little to get a farming knowledge foundation?

I'm really a 'Rambo' type farmer. I mix some planting soil into my existing ground, or pot, or planter, I buy a tomato plant from Lowes or Home Depot and stick it in the ground. I really didn't do any research other than to ask when to plant what - and then I generally find I ignore what I've been told and plant what I want to plant. I do water the plants two to three times a week, other than that, I don't do anything else. By the way, my inspiration for the planter box in my previous blog came from my friend Jeff Wilson.

b) how long is the tomato planting season? I ask because my mother grows tomatoes and she planted a few weeks ago.

Well, I've heard that tomato plants are pretty hearty and will grow almost any time of year. I usually plant them in March just because spring is around the corner and the weather is usually turning nicer in Southern California.  I've harvested tomato's until August. I've heard that if you buy or make some kind of green house or plant them in a pot in a garden window, they'll grow almost year round.

c) how long before they're is a harvest?

I probably won't start picking tomato's until at least the end of May into June.

Hope this helps.

$2 Tomatoes

Have any of you had enough of paying $2 for a tomato? Well, I have and I decided to do something about it. Back in the 1940's during World War II people made Victory Gardens in order to save money on vegetables and I figured that I could do the same in today's crummy economy. I just can't stand the idea of paying $2 for a vegetable. Besides, I figured that for $3, I could buy a tomato plant and at the very least grow a couple of tomatoes and save some money. The big problem was how and where to plant a garden for as cheap as possible.

Like so many people in Southern California, we don't have a great deal of land to turn into a garden and what we do have is filled with low maintenance plants (because very few of us like to garden) and sculptured lawns. I was inspired by some friends who built a couple of raised garden boxes in their backyard and I decided to build one myself and plant some vegetables.

The first part was the hardest and required that I actually get up out of my very comfortable chair (chairs by the way can be rated by the characteristic of flop. On a flop-quality scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best flop quality, mine rates a 10) and perform some physical labor! I decided to make the basic raised planter box as simple as possible. I decided to build a box 3' x 6'. The dimensions of the box itself are derived from a standard length of board, 1"x6"x6' in this case. I purchase 3 redwood boards of this dimension at Home Depot. I also had to purchase some soil and of course the tomato plant (and a couple of pepper plants). Now I will admit that although I had to lift the material into and out of the car and carry it to the backyard, this wasn't really the physical part.

The physical part was in actually digging up part of the backyard. You might ask, why did you have to dig up part of the backyard to in order to plant the garden? Why not just nail the boards together, throw the newly assembled box on top of the grass and fill er' with dirt? Well, two reasons. First, the ground around my house is hard enough to absorb a meteor strike without a dent and covered with grass. If you want plants to have any kind of root structure and thus grow, it's important to break up the soil and remove the grass. Second, well, I can't think of a second right now - too tired after so much tilling of the Earth. You can see from the picture that I tilled (big farmer word) a patch of Earth a little bigger than the 3'x 6' dimensions of the box frame I would make. Since the patch of future garden was small I didn't resort to renting a rototiller, instead, I opted for the more manly method of turning the plot with a pick and a shovel (thus the reason I'm so tired now - very manly but tired).

Next, I built the raised box. As I mentioned before, I used some standard size lumber in the design of this box. Because I purchased 3, 1"x6"x6' pieces of redwood, I could use two for the sides and cut one in half to make the ends of the box frame. I used galvanized, 3 inch screws to join the pieces together. Notice I said I used screws. Anyone who uses nails on a project for anything other than framing a house should be tared and feathered.

Next, I filled the box to the top with some good garden soil (6 cubic feet - two bags worth from Home Depot). I turned this well into the existing soil .

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Now you might think that this would be the point at which you could plant the veggies. Well, not quite yet. My family is the typical American family, at least from 1960 standards with the Husband (that's me) the wife, a son and a daughter, a cat and a dog. Your response to this of course is to say SOOOOO!. The husband, the wife, the son the daughter and the cat have very little affect on the garden. However, the dog is a different story. We have a chocolate lab named Ella who loves to eat things - basically anything that she can swallow. She has in the past eaten socks, pull cords from sweatshirts, many pairs of underwear (two of which became stuck and had to be surgically removed) berries off my blue berry bushes and so, so much more. Today, she found the new soil I purchased a tasty treat and began to eat great mouthfuls of the stuff. So in order to keep Ella out of the garden and thus prevent my veggies from being eaten before they get to my plate, I built a fence around the garden. I have some extra rabbit fence (no, that's just what it's called, I don't have a problem with rabbits, only the dog). I cut 6' and 3' sections and stapled these to some 2 foot long stakes. We'll see if this keeps Ella out of the garden (I have a similar fence around my blue berry bushes and my planters. As I said, Ella will eat anything she can swallow). Being a Lab, she usually is too lazy to overcome such obstacles by jumping over them.

Finally, I planted by vegetable bushes. I hope to plant more in the future. This may seem like a lot just to save a few bucks, but with prices the way they are I'll take any saving's I can get.

America's Vision

I listened to the President’s State of the Union address last night and I came away feeling confused and saddened. It wasn’t because of the rampant partisan politics and the vicious personal attacks by both the far left and far right that we’ve had to endure over the last two years. It wasn’t watching as left-wing Democratic liberals (excuse me, the politically correct term is ‘progressives’) were forced to sit with right wing Republican ultra-conservatives. It was the impression that we as a country are lost and our leaders are nothing more than men and women ‘looking for a vision’ to quote a line from one of my favorite movies.

One of the fulcrums of this search for a vision is the idea of a ‘Green Economy’ and ‘Green jobs.’ It appears that our good President and the esteemed leadership of our country want us all to fall in line with this grand vision, retrain ourselves for the resulting explosion of economic growth that is promised and prepare the way for future generations to enjoy this new found vision. The problem is it’s a vision without direction or purpose. When President Kennedy proposed putting a man on the moon in the early 1960’s it was a clear and direct vision to spur technology, provide jobs and motivate a nation to achieve the potential of greatness it was capable of reaching. It touched that desire that resides in all humans to see what’s over the horizon. It excited the explorer in all of us. From what I’ve read it wasn’t that President Kennedy liked the idea of a space program, in fact like many liberal Democrat’s he really saw it as a waste of time and money. But, it was something concrete that people could get their hands and heads around and it answered a growing technological threat from the Soviet Union with the launch of Sputnik. The bottom line was that it was a brilliant strategic and political move that inspired a country and provided a way for the government of the United States through NASA to lead the nation toward a new vision of greatness. I’m afraid that President Obama’s vision just doesn’t ring with the same tones of inspiration and greatness as President Kennedy’s vision.

First, unlike the space program which provided very clear and direct goals; build rockets, spacecraft and a supporting industry to send men and women into space, the idea of a green economy is at best a nebulous idea born out of reaction to inconclusive and hotly debated global climate change studies, hype from a former vice president turned venture capitalist, a failed economy that resulted from unrestrained global corporate greed and a desire to be energy independent. It is a concept that in itself is actually a truly worthy endeavor. We as a nation should not be dependent on any other country for our energy needs and we should work toward preserving and protecting our limited natural resources. Unfortunately, not even President Obama seems to be able to clearly define what a green economy is and where it should be heading. Promoting a small business man from Oregon who converted his business to ‘green’ really didn’t tell us what that entailed or how many new jobs were created.

This brings me to my second concern. How is this concept of a green economy helping us create jobs? I am an engineer by education and training and I’ve worked in everything from aerospace to the medical industry as a result. President Obama touted how some fifty year old mother re-educated herself to become a bio-chemical engineer. My feeling is good for her. I myself recently earned a masters degree in Information Technology (oh my gosh – one of the components of the Presidents new vision for America!) I’m for anyone improving themselves at any age and redefining the direction of their life, but you have to do it for a reason. I can almost guarantee you that the person the President was referring to did it because there was potential for immediate work and not to pursue the President’s grand new vision for America’s future. He’s missed the point here again. Five green jobs here and a hundred there doesn’t make up for the ten’s of thousands of science, engineering and technical jobs that have been lost to overseas companies and as a result of this President’s change of vision for America. If you doubt this consider that NASA, America’s agency for leading us into space exploration laid off over ten thousand scientists, engineers and technical support staff in 2010 as a result of the end of the space shuttle program and the cancellation of the Ares program. How is adding to the unemployment lines helping our economy? Did the government have a plan for placing these highly trained people into their touted green job environment? The answer is simply no and if you think private industry is in a position to absorb more scientific and technical staff think again. I work at least for the moment for a major aerospace company and I can tell you with certainty that with unemployment holding steady at between 9% and 10% nationally and layoffs occurring on a regular basis my company is not in a hiring mode. It appears that once more the President is reacting instead of being proactive.

Finally, President Obama doesn’t seem to see the big picture set on the global stage and if he does, he thinks his concept of this new green age will be the answer. If you hadn’t noticed, because I am an engineer, I tend to look at issues with a bent toward technology. But there are also some realities that we as a nation simply can’t ignore. The space race of the 1960’s was a result of the very real threat of the Soviet Union being the dominant force in space. In this new millennium the problem is the same only the players have changed. Discount just for the moment the fact that in a few months the only way we will be able to send Americans into space is on a Russian built and launched Soyuz spacecraft. What about China and Japan. China is making no bones about the fact that they want to go to the moon first – again – and be the dominant power in space. What does that mean for America? Do we really want China to be up there alone? The big question then becomes; should we allow China uncontrolled access to space? We weren’t willing to take that chance with the old Soviet Union. Why are we willing to take that chance now? What if they decide to put purely ‘defensive’ weapons in space – shouldn’t we be in a position to deny them this capability?  Also, let’s consider for a moment the future benefits of exploring space. Because we live on a planet with finite resources, shouldn’t we be considering the vast resources of harvestable elements contained on other planets and in the asteroid belt? I know this sounds like a bunch of science fiction, but what was science fiction 40 years ago has become reality today and will become reality in the future.

I agree with President Obama that this nation is in desperate need of a vision for the future. We are a great nation of great people and we need to remember what makes us great – it’s now and always has been our capability to look beyond this moment beyond these current problems to the future. Building new roads, bullet trains and becoming energy independent is not the end-all. The development and maintenance of a strong and viable infrastructure is imperative to keep our nation strong, but it should not be our primary vision of the future but a support for a new vision. What we need are leaders with a true vision who can guide us to the future.

Thanksgiving

I was reading the newspaper this morning (yes, I actually still read a newspaper - you know - one with words printed in ink on actual paper!) when I realized that what some are saying is true. This is a forgotten Holiday. Instead of seeing pictures of people helping the homeless and reading stories of families sharing time together, I read stories about the economy and the mad dash of shoppers into the local Target to save a buck. Yes, I am fully aware that the economy is in the tank and people are struggling (remember, I do read the newspaper). I know that saving a buck is important. It's important to me and to most people. But what is this holiday about? Well, since all I hear are stories about 3am shoppers, I thought I'd share my feelings on this holiday.

I have very fond memories of this holiday. When I was growing up it was a day that we shared with family. It was one of three days a year that my dad would actually close his business. We often rotated between sides of the family as many do. One year it would be on my dad's side of the family and the next on my mom's. My dad's side of the family was large with many aunt's, uncle's and cousins. There was laughter and food and my Aunt Marge trying to boss everyone  around (no one listened to her) and football games all day, turkey and pumpkin pie. I remember that my mom would always remember my Uncle Nick who had diabetes and make him his own sugar free pumpkin pie. It was something he appreciated and looked forward to having. On my mom's side of the family, it was a small gathering. There was my mom and dad, my brother Tim, myself, my Grandpa Joe and my Grandma Gaye. And just like my dad's family there was laughter and football, and enough food to feed an army - homemade manacoti, turkey, ham, dressing and sweet potatoes, pumpkin pie and cookies and just plain good times. Good memories of times shared with family.

Today this thanksgiving holiday is even more important to me. We still share it with friends and family. There's still pumpkin pie, turkey, dressing and even some football although nowdays I've gotten out of the habit of watching sports. There's laughter and good times. I think as I've gotten older its become more important to share this time with the people I love, to remember how good God has been to us and how blessed we are. Our families have dwindled so its become more important to share time and love with those you love. It's so important in these tough times to remember to be thankful.

So, when your out among the throngs of shoppers and feeling stressed about what your going to buy for your aging aunt that you haven't spoken to in 22 years but is now showing up for Christmas, take a moment, grab a cup of coffee or tea sit back and think about what your thankful for. Jump out of the stream of life for a moment and remember all those good times past and wonderful moments of the present. Remember that thanksgiving started as a time of worship and giving.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Just Another Day in Paradise

Every morning I get up at 5am. I take a leak, flush the toilet, walk into the kitchen and turn on the light. Ella has learned by now that unless someone calls to her, it’s not time to get up. I call to Ella and let her out of her crate. She hops and wiggles waiting excitedly for a back scratch and her breakfast. She’s always happy to see me in the morning. I feed Ella exactly 1 ½ cups of food and fill her water bowl with new water.

While Ella is eating, I stand next to the kitchen sink and shave. I got into the habit of shaving next to the kitchen sink when Ella was a pup. If I shaved in the bathroom she would sit at the door and cry wanting to go into the bedroom and see Lori. When I’m done shaving, I put deodorant on and wash my face at the kitchen sink. I don’t have to bend over as much when I wash my face at the sink – higher counter top, I think. I pour my coffee into my travel mug to let it cool – I leave the top off. I get dressed, make sure my gym bag is packed and take it, my lunch and any other items to my car. I pick up the morning paper and bring it in. Usually I set it on the dinning room table. Lori likes to read her paper in the morning. I either cook a bagel or put two pieces of banana bread in the broiler. I put Ella out in the backyard and give her a cookie, close the blinds and give Stewie 3 treats. I put my bread on a paper towel, turn off the oven, put the top on my travel mug, turn out the lights, open the doors to the bedroom, and whisper my goodbyes to Lori. She’s almost always asleep, but I can never leave for the day without telling her I love her.

I walk down the driveway to my car, climb in, place my travel mug in the cup holder and my paper towel with my bread on the armrest between the seats and start the car. I always let it warm up a minute or so, usually until it idles down. I back out of the driveway, drive east down Fernview St. to Arroyo St. I turn right on Arroyo and drive approximately 1 mile to Leffingwell Rd. I use this time every morning to pray for myself, my family and my friends. I turn right on Leffingwell and drive approximately 1 mile to Valley View Blvd. I turn left on Valley View and drive approximately 15 miles to work in Huntington Beach. Getting to work as early as I do usually results in getting a good parking space near the front. Outside of praying when I start my morning commute, I usually remain silent, no radio, no music from the Ipod, nothing. This is usually the only time of the day I have some semblance of peace.

Once I’m at work, I slip the lanyard with my badge attached around my neck, climb out of my car and walk to the back door of my car where I pick up my lunch bag. I walk the quarter mile (yes it’s about a quarter mile from the parking space to my desk) to my building. I hike up a flight of stairs to the second floor, enter the security code on the door, walk to the second isle, an end cube (ooooohhhhh) and place my day planner on the desk. I turn on my computer, and take my lunch to the frig while it’s booting up. When I come back, I turn on my desk light, enter my username and password on the computer and login to the company network. I check my email, say good morning to those colleagues that are in as early as I and sometimes I check facebook to see if anyone has contacted me. If I’m working in the lab, I take my notebook where I keep IMPORTANT notes on daily activities. If I’m at my desk, I usually try not to fall asleep and usually begin a variety of tasks usually dealing with LabVIEW or analyzing test data. At 7:30am, I usually pour my packet of instant oatmeal in my oatmeal mug, walk to the kitchen, fill the mug with hot water and eat my oatmeal. I clean the cup and walk back to my desk. At 8:00 am every morning I attend a standup meeting usually dealing with the group activities of the day. The meeting usually lasts about 15 to 20 minutes and afterward I walk back to my desk or return to my work on one of the test stations. I try to focus and stay busy. If I’m not going out to lunch with a friend, I leave my desk at 10:45, walk back to my car and drive to the company gym where I workout for 1 hour. I drive back to my parking area (only now someone has taken my good parking space and I have to park farther out in the parking lot). I return to my desk, go to the kitchen, nuke my Healthy Choice meal for 5 minutes and return to my desk where I eat while I work.

At 3:00pm every day, I shut my computer off, turn off my desk light, say my goodbye’s to my colleagues and walk back out to my car. I drive out of the parking lot, turn right and spend the next 45 minutes to 1 hour driving home in traffic. When I get home, I usually park behind Lori’s car, turn the engine off, gather my things and walk up the driveway to my back door.

When I open the door Ella greets me with lots of wiggling, licking and hopping. Lori will say ‘hi’ and ‘how was your day’. If Jenna is home, I will usually get a ‘hi daddy’. Then I get to fulfill one of the most important and great parts of my life; I get to be a husband and father. Someone needs help with this, and ‘what are we going to do about that’. We usually eat dinner around 5 (I’ve noticed dinner time is getting earlier the older I get. Pretty soon, I’ll be eating the early bird special at the Sunny Day retirement home). There are endless projects around the house – the bain of any home owner. By 8pm I’m ready for some TV or reading or writing if time allows.
At 9pm I usually start preparing for the next day. I put my lunch together and maybe make a sandwich for Matt. I put my clothes out for the next day and take a shower and crawl into bed.

That’s my day, every day. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m very, very grateful and thankful to have a great wife and children who truly love me. I’m very thankful to have their love and to have them in my life. They are a gift! I’m very grateful and blessed to have a job in this terrible economy. It’s just that sometimes, I don’t feel that I’m important or that what I do matters. I would like to feel that my life matters for something. I would like to keep my job for a change instead of being one of the ones who’s laid off. I would like to feel that I’m important enough for the company to keep. I would like to spend my days enjoying my family and the things I like to do. I would like to have time to write when I’m not so tired and do my wood working and travel with my beautiful wife and take our pictures. I would like to enjoy a fire on the patio on a cool evening with the love of my life (yes it’s Lori)! I would like to feel young again.  I would like to know my purpose and I wouldn’t trade this life for all the money in the world. It's important in these times for me to remember that God does have a plan for my life.

Every morning I get up at 5am. I take a leak, flush the toilet, walk into the kitchen and turn on the light. Ella has learned by now that unless someone calls to her, it’s not time to get up. I call to Ella …

Fear

So what is fear? The dictionary defines fear as, ‘a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined…’ All of us are afraid at one time or another. Fear is a disease of the soul that robs us of our ability to act, reason, trust and think. It paralyzes us into inaction when we need to move forward boldly through life. It robs us of reason allowing us to justify cowardice in our actions. It eliminates trust and erects a barrier between us and the peace of God’s embrace.

I won’t say that I’m never afraid. All you have to do is watch me shaking as I’m standing next to the rail at Glacier Point in Yosemite and you will see a prime example of fear (I am terrified of ledges – not heights – just ledges). There is so much to be afraid of in this world; the continuing economic crisis, staggering unemployment, the very real threat of job loss, terrorism, cancer, opinions, and so much more. All you have to do is pick up the paper, turn on the TV or access the web and you are inundated with bad news. And let’s face it, the more dramatic the story, the more the eye and brain is attracted to the content. So the big question is how you handle fear.

The answer to this question is really very simple; trust God. Psalms 56:4 says, ‘In God whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?’ This has taken me a lifetime to learn unfortunately, but I find you’re never too old or too young to learn the lesson.  The peace of God that results from trust is like the wall of a castle. Outside the wall you can hear the war drums pounding and feel the enemy circling but inside the walls there is peace. Fear is an enemy that is always there. Let’s face it, we’re all human and we all fall prey to fear and despair sometime. But, when we place our trust in God, truly allow Him to embrace us, we are protected from fear. Recently, I was diagnosed with Kidney cancer. When you hear those words, I can assure you fear leaps forward like a tiger and threatens to consume you. For me, I was determined that I would not be afraid. I was determined to trust God. I would not allow myself to be debilitated by fear and in the end, it worked – trusting in God works. His word to us is true!